Hooray! It’s the time of year where everyone posts their greatest victories on social media, and we reflect on what we did (or didn’t) accomplish this year. We are all for reflection, but for many people a certain amount of shame or guilt comes as we approach New Years Eve.
Did we achieve last year’s resolution? Probably not. Do we have everything we want in life? Probably not. Are we perfectly healthy and whole? Probably not – we are human after all.
So this New Year, we want to suggest something radical – how about we avoid resolutions all together? Here are five reasons you may actually be healthier and happier come next New Years Day without a resolution.
Shame and guilt don’t lead to long-term change
Feeling ashamed of our body, or embarrassed by certain habits can keep us going for a couple of months tops. After awhile, the sheer exhaustion of having another thing to do, or not doing it as much as we should, will take its toll. It can lead to burnout, in the sense that we are so disheartened that we throw in the towel and give up. Long-term change starts with a shift in mindset, which leads us to reason number 2.
A positive mindset is a daily choice
Resolutions happen one day a year, but a positive mental attitude is a daily choice. By choosing to reposition your mindset from victim to champion, unworthy to worthy, or unlovable to loved, you will naturally see a shift in your lifestyle.
Yes, you will still have to make choices every day – and you won’t always get it right. None of us do. However, if your goal is a positive mindset rather than a resolution, you can achieve your goal right now and build momentum.
Accountability happens in community
Are you working towards something? A lot of people come to our counselling offices because they are working towards a happier marriage, greater mental health, or strategies to live a more fulfilled life. People often come to us in their moment of need, and we become their weekly accountability partners.
Even once people have finished up counselling though, they still need community to keep them on track. And that’s where finding ‘your people’ becomes a game changer in your quality of life. By finding a group of friends with common interests, or in a similar stage of life, you gain confidants who will keep you accountable. Sometimes that happens over honest and raw conversation, but often it looks like ongoing catch-ups, where you check in and encourage one another to seek things that make you both healthier, happier and more whole.
Procrastination is real
There’s nothing like a New Year’s Resolution to experience an onset of procrastination, right? We put off a goal and that creates a sense of dread. Which leads to shame, guilt and no change.
That’s not to say we don’t have to actively overcome procrastination in life. However, by living a lifestyle that celebrates wellness rather than trying to live up to some distant and scary resolution, we will find more motivation to keep going because we feel less pressure to be perfect.
You can change your life now
Change happens one moment, one decision at a time. An end goal is important, but if we are waiting to achieve something to experience happiness, we will be disappointed when we get there. There will always be a new goal to achieve, or a new standard to meet.
So instead of setting yourself a New Year’s Resolution, what if you reset your mind to the fact that you can change your life right now? You can do this my reframing your goals to make them more sustainable.
Eg. “I want to loose 20 kg” would become, “I want to be healthier and happier, and will do so by exercising and having a balanced diet”.
Or
“I want a perfect marriage that everyone is envious of,” would become, “I would like to work on clearer and more honest conversation with my partner.”
Or
“I want to earn $ by next Christmas to be successful,” would become, “I will increase productivity by supporting my colleagues, genuinely caring about clients, learning more about social media marketing or applying for x amount of jobs per month.”
There you have it! Five reasons you don’t need to freak out this New Year. Instead, just take the time to consider what you value in life and work towards that. What are you doing to change your life in 2020? Let us know in the comments!